baretalk

i have not updated in a week!

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:54:37 GMT

sorry i have been tremendously busy with my ridiculously eventful life........................
sike.
i just have alot of crap with school and stuff.
there has been some other stuff that has happened.
ill update soon.

interesting

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:07:42 GMT

i went to bodys house yesterday...... and one word to describe it 'awkward'. haha me and *jenna* felt like we were unwanted and he forced himself to invite us. we kept trying to get him to talk about something and make decent conversation.... but nothing. we stayed for like 20 minutes. i have to say that i was wildly disappointed because on aim the night before i felt that i could talk to him about things i usually dont talk about. i wish i could replay the whole visit, i would have approach the situation with a different light. but overall the visit was interestingly awkward

haircut

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:10:13 GMT

surprisinly, alot of people got there haircut on the weekend. that including moi et 'body'. je ne l'aime pas. it kinda makes him look like a wannabe drill scout/boyscott. i lovedh isha ir before it was all nice and the perfect amount of thickness. but....... the thing is i see past the haircut...... and now i am scared.

best dream ever

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:22:37 GMT

i cant get into details ,because its confusing but, it was the best dream ever. it was just me and my good friend packing and getting ready to travel to russia and alover europe. i woke up and tried desperately to go back to sleep at the part were we were boarding the airplane. i loved the thrill of just backpacking and leaving to a new place where i dont have to bring my troubles and worries. that was the best dream ever.

crappy friday

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:23:26 GMT

precalc test, i felt defeated. everyone was moody and dampened my usual optimistic filled fridays. what made it even more 'special' was the revised song of lady gagas love game toward me by 'body' he was only being funny and i know thats all but calling someone unjustified things even if they may be slightly true hurts. i hate that i am being mad about something superficial, but last tim checked i have feelings just as the next person. it was hard for me to look at him for the rest of the day.
anyway. i have to do my apush h.w.
stay classy

be respectful

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:34:52 GMT

my school had a drunk driving assembly today and there was so much thought put into the presentation and real speakers who were affected by drunk driving. i felt like beating up the people behind me who were making the lamest immature side comments. jeez those people just mke us as a whole look bad. jeez there is absolutely no hilarity in drunk driving. so if you find humor in other peoples vulnerable unwanted tragic pain then maybe you should get help.

picture

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 15:37:47 GMT

with his arm around me and my body leaning over his side......*click* finished. but i desperatly wanted to be waiting to take the picture till morning.mmmmmmmmmmmmm

ill let you know

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 18:22:43 GMT

i think i got 'body' sick. i am sorry that i may have gotten people sick, but i cant miss school. anyway i have a strong feeling that 'body' knows that i find him attractive but i also thinks i know that i find him gay. haah i just thought it was obvious when i told 'flabbermouth' (but i still love 'flabbermouth' he is awesome) that 'body' has a very gay music on his phone, seriously he has 'stand by me','poker face' and girly techno and no manly songs, then yesterday he was all into this 'man' song which i forgot. but in my mind i was crackin up. yea the whole 'body' phase i think is coming to a needed end soon. i just have to wait a little more because its so fun haaa. but after junior year it will be over for sure.

mr.dont-know-how-to-treat-a-lady

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:35:41 GMT

no me gusta chris brown
je n'aime pas chris brown
hinda ko gustohan si chris brown.
those are the only launguages i know..... since they are the only one at my school

sick

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 02:47:20 GMT

crap. anyone who is reading this please pray for me that i get better. my body is weak, cold, eyes are watery and stuffed nose. my mom warned me that i would get sick over forcing myself with track and powderpuff. i cant miss school, i just cant. I NEED TO GET BETTER ASAP! they better still let me play powder puff. ahhhhhhhhhhhh this is depressing

anyway. i am hopeful

my hunger remains unfed

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:04:23 GMT

i want him. gosh i want him to grasp me with his amazing figure. and smother my neck and sholders with kisses.oh crap i cant believe i just said that. haha. besides that outradgeous stupid fantasy. i am really not looking for the week to come. i just want to get lost in a novel of fun.
my whole situation of $. is not going on that well but i am hopefully hopeful that the best is yet to come. i think i will always be hopeful.... like being hopeful that he might want to hug me as well.

fuck

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 06:55:34 GMT

i just typed up a long fun filled entry with just happy fun realization then my fuckin phone somehow deleted it ill find inspiration somehow later to redo it. mahn.....it was really good.

flirt?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:05:03 GMT

i blush. apparently i found out that i blush. i never have been a very noticable blusherbut i have been caught. but heres the thing i dont understand, i dont mean it. i mean i just dont know. i honestly dont think its all about flirting.i turn red when its hot, when i am nervous etc. gosh. anyway.

hello there.

new semester

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:37:41 GMT

3.6 somebody punch me. i feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me.wtf. literally all my friends have 4.0s or higher. this sucks so much. i want a 4.0 so fuckin bad its not even funny. anyway i am too depressed to go into details.

i despise the feeling

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 22:50:50 GMT

everyone at this party has completely changed. every one is married with kids. i can no longer make jokes with my cousin on how the couples annoy us because she is married with a beautiful daughter and has joined the group of mommies in the dining hall to talk about poop or something. so i am all by myself. practically invisible. i dispise the feeling.i would like to clarify that i love being young. i am 17 and i am way to selfish to have a kid. i just wonder how young people have babies.they must be 'saints' considering that they are no longer looking after themselves.i want to just ditch this place and get away for the day. i am so bored.i miss the older days where the rest of them were not in a hurry to grow up and have babies and talk about breast pumps. i in no way shape or form envy those women in the dining hall. althoug i wonder if they pity me or envy me?when i am ready to pop some people out of my system i better own a hermes birkin by then. haha. i am going to get some food now

just for me.yea

lazy daisy/movie night

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 05:46:27 GMT

i just got back from the movies (uninvited...very confusing ending) anyway i am pooped out completely and i am slowly typing this blog on my phone.today was a long day, anyway 'smiley' was at the movies.... he just craves attention we were seperated by my friend *jenna* who i think still likes him and is in denial to admit it, anyway yea after the movies they wanted to walk around but i was just so tired. so here i am still,flat on my back on my messy bed with movement only done with my fingers.i should be doing my homework.i really should considering the family party tomorrow uhhh i want a vacation. today i texted 'body' on his competition, i probably wont talk about him in my blogs that much anymore for i feel the need to pathetic and utterly ridiculous. i need some new meat to talk about.

diminishing

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:27:58 GMT

finals half way done. gahhgahh its tiring. anyway in more interesting news i am getting tired of 'body', the whole sexual tention i thought i had with him completey if not almost gone today. just the way he critized and acted. jeez he is such a girl.i need a man. he is totally gay but i think he is too comfortable in the closet to come out. but today jeez he really just pissed me off.

finals. the torture.

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:32:01 GMT

its coming.... fuck i am terrified. i may slap myself for thinking this but i amt hinkking about just going to fidm after high school and just see what happens. if only ih ad money or were super super smart i could just be powerlike and do everything without worringing to much. i am terrified.let it come, i shall BRING IT ON.c'est vrai!any way nothing juicy really happened today unless you think finals are juicy and attractive then i just made your day. your welcome. just wait till i type about the actual 5 finals i am going take that will sure turn u on.

calm

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 04:44:29 GMT

i dont want to talk about ma mere for i should not be worried for her problems are not mine. anyway NEXT SUBJECT. i seriously feel so calm right now. i finished my h.w except for honors english, but i like doing that last. idk i just feel satisfied, ok anyway 'body' oh my 'body' im gonna look back at my entries and journals and laugh at myself for thinking these juvinelle thoughts of hilarity. jeez maybe if i just make out with him the feeling will magically go away.... wait that doesnt sound correct haaha. oh gosh 'body' you confuse me why cant you just get fat or deepen ur high pitch of a voice. OR MAKE OUT WITH ONCH FRM BFF.HAHA THAT WILL MAKE IT ALL BETTER.

change

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:11:47 GMT

change is here as long as we see it clear.

im sorry mom

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 21:34:38 GMT

i should be writing this in my written journal, but then that would feel too (idontknowtheword) vulnerable for my journal holds my true identity.
i was hurt and mad at the same time. i am sorry for making you feel beneath me.i was just so mad at the slow progress of our situation. you are a good mom truely you are but i just had to let it out. mom, you have so much potential and i feel you are just waiting for greatness to magically come to you. please make an effort. i know you can do it. we need you to try harder. its all in your mind mom. depression is all in your mind.

maybe?

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 05:24:09 GMT

me and 'body' texted today. were his texts flirtacious? that is what i am asking myself.jeez this whole deal of me questioning his sexuallity is really irritating me. gosh his voice... uahhh. gay or not gay? that is the question. see people thats why i need the images of 'smiley' back beacause i am pissing myself off miserably with 'body'.....his hot hot body.

relapse;i miss that feeling

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 05:34:59 GMT

stupid. its ironic on me slightly wanting the feeling of 'smiley' back. ice skating was fun, he assisted me int he beginning for my balance was horrific. i got used to it and skated fine. although, i noticed when he was around i kept messing up.it was like my body language was a different person. unfortunatly, my mind was completely confused.mahn i miss that feeling.junior year is completey different. damn i am weird.i hate hate to say this but i want to be admired for once.i think i would make a pretty radical companion. oh shit i am turing into one of those cliche teenagers......nooooooooooo

its my birthday and ill be sad if i am

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:57:18 GMT

oh crap what a depressing title. haha. iam just tired and want to get my h.w done, but i am unable to at the momment.... to pathetic to explain. anyway what really ticked me off today was during french class 'body' to be 'funny' told the bitchy teacher that i made a mistake on a warm up. i would have told her my self if i could have understood the directions. anyway what really pissed meo ff was what she said "oh ------ just thinks shes perfect", then made a full of me on how i was any better to get balloons on my birthday. i know for certain why i am not perfect and why i deserve balloons. 'body' was so annoying today too, i am scared he too will feel superior towards me. mahn f it.

hello there new day

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:03:55 GMT

back to school, yes. i now feel the time i need to make my new years resolution feel real by jotting them down so here it is
1.get a 4.0 or higher
2.active class participation
3.curse less then 5 times a day
4.get abs haha
5. take chances
6.friendly to my teachers
7.write in my journal (not virtual but actual paper)
8. have fun
9. achieve goals set to my self
10.follow resolutions
11.drink 8 glasses of water daily
ok well they may not be that crazy as someother peoples but they are mine and i want to rock it.
haa esp. number 1 for now.